Hmm…I wonder

So this is something we have tried to avoid but is unavoidable once your imagination starts to wander. As most of you know 14 years ago there was a genocide in Rwanda which after 100 days ended in the deaths of nearly one million Tutsis and moderate Hutus (the two different major “ethnicities” in Rwanda, I’ll try to post a link to a brief history). The genocide was not carried out in gas chambers or concentration camps, people were not starved or poisoned, no this genocide was a very brutal un-technological one in which the majority of the killings were carried out at the hands of ordinary citizens wielding machetes or other “tools”. Friends who grew up together for years, played soccer together, went to the same schools, were neighbors etc. were divided on April 6, 1994 into Victim and Killer. One of the most powerful images I have ever heard that puts a very distinct image in your head is the sight of mothers with babies on their backs wielding a machete killing another mother.

Before we came to Rwanda in everything we read and all the people I talked to everyone said you could not tell by just walking the streets of Rwanda that 14 years ago there had been this horrific genocide. And it’s true. We heard that it is extremely safe here and Kigali is one of the safest cities in all of Africa. Which as far as we can tell (knock on wood) is also true. We have felt very safe during our stay here. But there is something we just can’t shake from our heads. Something that no matter how much we try not to think about it is always there deep within our thoughts. Probably every day we wake up and walk the streets of Biryogo, Nyamirambo, Kigali, drive through other cities or where ever we are, we are amongst killers.

It’s a strange feeling. In America it is rare if you are ever amongst someone who has killed. Maybe a cop, or a soldier you know has killed before, but it is very rare for you to be amongst someone who has killed in cold blood. At least I am assuming that the people reading this don’t know many killers. But here in Rwanda, it is inevitable. They say everywhere you go you are almost always amongst a victim and a killer.

It sometimes happens when I meet someone, not usually right away like at the handshake I am sizing them up trying to figure out if they have blood on their hands. But if I am around someone long enough, not all the time but sometimes, it pops into my head. Like I am sitting here with this person interacting with them, laughing etc. and it is possible that they have killed, raped, beaten etc. Or if you see a group of people crowded somewhere, sometimes an image pops into your head of the crazed citizens grouping together and heading off to slaughter some innocent people.

The house we are living in, the neighborhood where we live or work, the house we work at, all could have been stages for death. Some of you may be asking wouldn’t these people be in jail? Well when such a large percent of your population is guilty in some way, it is impossible to arrest each and every individual and jail them. The system of justice for the genocide has most of the “serious offenders” in jail. However, many have either served their jail time, their community service sentence or were never indicted.

Something that Steph and I have been discussing a lot recently and something that has always racked my brain about genocide and mass atrocities (something that I wish I could study and research more and figure out) like this is how people can turn it on and off. Turn on and off what? Either way Humanity & Evil. They turn off Humanity and turn on Evil to commit these horrific acts but after the conflict is over they turn off the Evil and turn back on Humanity.

It’s is definitely a crazy thing to think about and can mess with your mind. Many of the ordinary citizens who were involved in the genocide have said that they believed that they were under the “orders” of the government and that the Tutsi were portrayed as inhuman, and once you can dehumanize someone it is easier to kill. I’ve heard things such as, once you think of the person as an insect or some other creature, some animal it is not hard to kill. But it doesn’t make sense how one day you think of someone as human the next they are not and you can kill them and then another day bam they are human again and you can’t kill them any more. Obviously that is a very oversimplified assessment of the situation but is applicable nonetheless.

I’m not really sure where I am going with all of this, just wanted to share my feelings with everyone. It is something that I have thought about for years and have always wondered as I studied Rwanda, and other places where situations like this have occur and continue to occur. Humanity &Evil are strange things that I don’t think anyone can explain especially in their most extreme forms. But it is definitely the most interesting and disturbing when they are turned on and off so abruptly. We see it today in Darfur, and recently in Kenya, we see it in places like Burma and in the countless cases of torture, Americans are not immune to this phenomenon.

It is especially interesting and disturbing at the same time when you turn this reflection and study inward. When you look within yourself and to your friends and family and wonder what you and they are capable of. It is easy for people to say, o I could never do something like that, that would never happen here etc. etc. But you really don’t have to look far to see it, maybe not to the same degree but a slight departing from humanity nonetheless, whether it be at a high school on Long Island, or a frat or sorority house anywhere in the country, or within the military or a gang etc. It is present.

Anyway it is late and I am losing logical thought so I will stop here.

to be continued…